by Katy Carnaggio
Honestly, it gets to be easy. Okay…it is a little hard, but what follows makes it so much easier.
If you’ve ever wondered how great musicians have managed to turn their deep struggles into awe-inspiring strengths, consider this to be a kickstart. But instead of giving you vague, general advice like “Enjoy the process!” “Take it one day at a time!” and “Focus on the music!” we’re going to get a little gritty, because you’re never ever going to trill like Tryon if nobody teaches you how to work through the inevitable setbacks.
And speaking of the lovely Denise Tryon, next week, in collaboration with the Office of Wellness at Indiana University Jacobs School of Music, I’ll be hosting a workshop that not only features her (along with Demondrae Thurman, euphonium, and Grigory Kalinovsky, violin) but was inspired by her, focusing on how each musician transformed struggle into expertise.
The first step? Seek evidence you’re not alone.
Earth shattering is how I describe my first lesson with Denise. And when you’ve unintentionally built your world with fear, doubt, frustration, and disconnection, a wake-up call can be a good thing.
At 12:52 p.m., I made my way to the lesson with her, weary from a long battle with embouchure issues that arose after an untimely surgery. At 1:14 p.m., my earth was shattered. Fear and doubt and frustration and disconnection had all become visible for Denise to see. But in place of all these were validation, self-knowledge, hope, belief, and a horn sound I actually kind of liked! Not only did somebody see me and understand what I was going through, but she knew exactly the way forward—because she had been there, too.
It gets to be that easy.
Whether facing a technique overhaul, injury, heartbreak, or simply exhaustion, the presence of struggle isn't the issue. These often signal that you're undergoing change. The issue lies in our fear that our struggles mean we’re inadequate. We fear that these experiences might confirm our worst suspicions about ourselves. Out of fear, we withdraw into the practice room, hesitate to pursue new opportunities, or conceal our experiences to avoid judgment or rejection. The fear that we are inadequate leads us to a limited world, where the solutions to our struggle seem just as limited. However, struggle more often reveals our talent rather than our shortcomings. “What is talent?” Grigory Kalinovsky mused during a preliminary discussion. “It’s not just ability. If you have natural ability, great. But if you have ability and burning need? That is talent.”
Talented to say the least, each of our panelists shares a burning need and sense of integrity in their stories of struggle. Am I doing the music justice? Am I doing myself justice? When the answer was no, each faced the vulnerability, resistance, or discomfort of change. But instead of withdrawing in self-doubt, they stepped out towards self-knowledge. In doing so, they connected with somebody who sparked a pivotal shift in their perspectives.
When you find yourself entangled in a struggle, consider taking a little time to expand your world beyond the practice room. Whether through books, podcasts, lessons, Facebook groups, or a simple conversation, you’ll soon find that a shift in perspective shared by somebody who's been there before is exactly what you've been missing. Cheers to all solution-finders and puzzle-solvers, with special thanks to Denise for holding my missing piece!
The IU Jacobs School of Music Wellness Workshop mentioned above is in person only, but it is open to the public if you are in the area and interested in attending. For details and information, see https://events.iu.edu/musiciub/event/1382103-expert-roundtable-how-to-turn-setbacks-into-skills.
