by Jennifer Montone, IHS 57 Featured Artist; Principal Horn, The Philadelphia Orchestra
The music field is a wonderful but sometimes stressful place. We constantly ride the rollercoaster of striving for artistic excellence while accepting the sobering reality of our own humanness. Our mental well-being is hugely important to the quality of our playing. We perform better with "cheerleader" voices in our heads instead of "critics." We perform more expressively, bravely, freely, musically, and excitingly when we feel supported and respected. It's simply more joyous to collaborate musically in friendly environments. Research consistently shows that working in open, inclusive, supportive, safe, and collaborative musical environments is better for our growth, happiness, health, and excellence.
Yet, perfectionism, pedestal thinking, and power dynamics often complicate things. One powerful solution is the concept of holding space: "Creating a safe, non-judgmental environment where someone can feel seen, heard, and understood without being interrupted or controlled." What a beautiful sentiment!
Embracing Imperfection for Excellence
"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is smart, risking more than others think is safe, trying more than others think is wise, and expecting more than others think is possible."
In this age of recordings and YouTube, where perfection sometimes feels more valued than expression, we often feel paralyzed by the fear of failure. We might feel judged by colleagues, harangued by self-doubt, berating ourselves mercilessly for mistakes, weeping into our pillows, and joking about FOMO (fear of missing out) and imposter syndrome. It's hard to ever feel "good enough" or "perfect enough."
Awesome antidotes to perfectionism include internal pep talks, meditation, yoga, proactive phrasing, using musical adjectives, playing with love, riding excitement waves, singing from the heart, and simply having fun. It's also helpful to remember: we don't choose our friends, spouses, pets, or homes for their perfection; we love them because of how they make us feel. The same is true with music. True excellence, beauty, and passion manifest in incredible, human, and therefore beautifully imperfect ways. By holding space for ourselves, we honor and celebrate every artistic attempt—big or small, close to perfect or not. We celebrate our commitment, heartfelt caring, brave risk-taking, and hard work towards excellence.
"May I feel safe, healthy, at peace.…"
Learning from Everyone: Beyond the Pedestal
"Every person is my teacher in some way: in that, I learn from them."
We live in a world of categorizing and comparing ourselves, and for most horn players, often worrying we aren't measuring up. While "pedestal thinking" can sometimes inspire us, it can also brutalize us. We can all be more mindful of how we navigate this.
The alternative to an invisible caste system is to purposefully empower and lift up ourselves and others, honoring lifelong learning from all sources. Let's celebrate every success around us, whether prestigious, high-paying, or not directly in the music field. We know that everyone who plays music is a musician, an artist—sharing their gifts, making the world a better place, inspiring, provoking thought, and opening minds and hearts. This is true no matter the location, level, title, income, or percentage of playing versus other employment. With appreciation for the specialness of each artistic voice, we hold space for each other, celebrating all types of successes based on the concept of inherent worth: each person deserving of great respect.
"May you feel safe, healthy, at peace.…"
Navigating Hierarchies with Respect
"Sometimes, courage doesn’t roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice in the night, whispering, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
Our field has natural hierarchies that organize how we learn and work together. However, these can unfortunately lead to dangerous and harmful power dynamics. We've all experienced teacher/student, coach/chamber group, conductor/orchestra musician, principal/section member, and contractor/freelancer hierarchies. These roles necessitate colleagues respectfully promoting safe, supportive atmospheres. Thankfully, this is mostly the case.
But we are all human, and many of us have also experienced or witnessed disrespectful, inappropriate, mean-spirited, or demeaning behavior—designed to make one person feel smaller or less worthy than another—for all kinds of reasons. We can collectively acknowledge the pain and inequity in our institutional past, and together, we can navigate, heal from, and move past it to change the culture for the future.
Horn players are caring, warm, and supportive individuals, giving us a unique opportunity to bond together and address problems in our own workplaces and schools. We celebrate how we hold space as a community: ensuring that people of all races, genders, ages, and orientations are treated with respect; creating an environment where it feels safe to disclose things, to say "I'm sorry, I messed up. I want to do differently next time," or "Hey, are you okay?" and to discuss equity and to problem-solve collaboratively.
"May we all feel safe, healthy, at peace.…"
The Power of Collectively Holding Space
Holding space—for ourselves, each other, and the whole world—can profoundly help with perfectionism, pedestal thinking, and power dynamics. With this collective spirit, we create safe spaces for us all to bloom personally and artistically.
I am part of an amazing new nonprofit, the Coalition of Musicians for Ethical Change, and we hope you'll consider joining us! We are a community of musicians supporting the establishment of safe and supportive work and school environments where musicians of all ages, genders, and races can thrive musically and professionally. We offer educational programs at schools and festivals, provide support if you need it, and host town halls to discuss these topics in a warm, open, inclusive, non-judgmental forum. For more information, please visit: https://www.musiciansforethicalchange.org/
Additionally, at IHS 57, as in the past few years (thank you, wonderful IHS leaders, for promoting these important sessions!), there will be a panel discussion about equity in the horn world. I hope you'll all come for an uplifting, collaborative conversation about how we can experience more joy through holding space for ourselves, each other, and our entire field!
