by Katy Webb
What do we REALLY fear when we say we’re afraid of missing a note or messing up on stage? We’ve heard all sorts of answers to this question, from “I don’t want to embarrass myself” to “If I do well, I could be Jen Montone’s next third hornist!” to “I did not spend all that money and eat all that ramen to fly across the country to play like this.”
Dig a little deeper and imagine a time when you handled yourself well. You were able to share a GREAT version of yourself with others, yet you still had critics in the audience: you still weren’t the right fit for that job, or you were still out a few hundred bucks from your travel. Ramen aversion aside, was it truly the results that you feared? Or were you able to walk away from the experience with some amount of fulfillment?
Katy, here. I may not have Jeff’s magical pig-farming background, but I do have a formal background in skill acquisition, which, although less muddy, I like to think is just as magical. My instinct is that it’s not truly the mistake or result we’re fearing. We fear whether we’ll be able to handle ourselves well under pressure. In other words, we fear our ability to self-regulate while preparing for and executing a performance.
Self-regulation is our ability to covertly monitor ourselves and adjust our internal states, emotions, and understanding, then overtly choose, execute, and adjust our performance strategies to move toward our goals, all while observing and adapting to environmental and social conditions.
It sounds like a lot to juggle. Then add in that triplet section from the first movement of Gliere’s horn concerto, and . . . brain broken! Dr. Russell Barkely, clinical psychologist, to the rescue! He has brilliantly distinguished the processes which underlie our ability for self-regulation into seven cognitive functions. I’ve broken down insights from his research into tiny habits you can start practicing to strengthen your ability to self-regulate during a performance. This will get you closer to sharing the best version of yourself anytime, anywhere. Let’s dive in!
1. The Mind’s Brakes—Inhibition: Our ability to pause before reacting to events, impulses, or emotions so that we can consider options and choose freely among them, rather than be pushed and pulled by the circumstances around us.
- Pause to evaluate your stage. Is everything set comfortably? Can you see your music? (Can the audience see you?)
- You’re about to play your first notes…wait! What is most useful for you to think about right now?
- Notice when you’re hyper-concerned about potential anxiety symptoms, then pause: choose a next thought that brings you more deeply into the music.
2. The Mind’s Mirror—Self-awareness: Our ability to direct our attention, not only outward toward our surroundings but inward toward ourselves. We can notice how we’re coming across to those around us and what predictable outcomes might occur from our actions.
- Video record your solo performance entrances and exits to see the first and last impressions you make on your audience.
- Regularly record and listen back to your practice sessions.
- Post “blend check” sticky notes in your ensemble music to remind yourself to assess how you’re blending with your colleagues.
3. The Mind’s Eye—Non-verbal Working Memory: Our capacity to think in senses beyond words. We can imagine or recall sounds and imitate others’ behaviors, taking the best of what they have learned to do while avoiding their mistakes.
- Use storytelling throughout your performance by imagining pictures, sounds, tastes, touches, and scents and imitating those sensations with your sound.
- Listen to a favorite recording and imagine with all of your senses what it would be like for you to make those sounds.
- Build self-reflection into your performance training. Use hindsight—truly looking backward—to learn from what worked and what didn’t.
4. The Mind’s Voice—Verbal Working Memory: The ability to talk to ourselves in our minds. Internalized speech allows us to guide behavior through self-directed instruction. It helps us stay on course towards our plans and goals, even when things get rough.
- Develop your self-coaching ability by talking to yourself aloud in the practice room so that these intentional thoughts and cheers are louder in your mind on stage.
- Create a narrative about how you will play a piece line by line. Example: “I’m going to sit in my chair and feel deeply grounded by gravity. Then, I’m going to take a full inhalation in time and in the gentle style of the piece. I’m going to hear that D and execute it with a crystal-clear ping.”
- Write succinct coaching statements on your music. Example: “Open hand,” or “Soar,” or….
5. The Mind’s Heart—Emotional Regulation: The process of responding to emotional signals and regulating them in service of our goals and long-term welfare. We can exert freedom over our impulsive reactions to events around us to be more measured, stable, and mature.
- Identify when you are adding personal feelings or narratives to facts.
- Imagine. If you did trust yourself, how would that feel? Produce that feeling in performance and use it to direct your attention to elevating the music.
- Practice your ability to perform an optimal reset: Empty the mind, be in neutral, do the next thing.
6. The Mind’s Fuel Tank—Self-Motivation: By regulating and even creating our emotions with the other processes discussed, we can stick with our plans, follow through on our goals, and resist distractions because we are using our own inner states to drive our behavior.
- Schedule an after-performance reward so you have something to look forward to, no matter what.
- Collect success: Identify one thing you did well after every performance.
- Instead of relying on a limited tank, offload motivation to your environment by scheduling yourself to perform for others often.
7. The Mind’s Playground—Planning and Problem Solving: If we can hold images and words in mind, we eventually develop a means to play around with them. By analyzing something, taking it apart, and recombining its parts, we can find solutions and new possibilities.
- Instead of allowing yourself to be blindsided by mistakes onstage, mentally simulate how you will respond to them, should they arise.
- Visualize your performance and get a sense for where in the timeline you tend to feel most distracted from sharing your music. Then create a plan for what to do in those moments.
- Find a different way to think about sections of your music which you have not yet learned to execute reliably. If you can get it once, your thoughts leading up to and around it are usually what could use adjusting.
Pick the one process you feel least comfortable with and start developing your awareness on how it plays into your performance. For example, my mind’s voice was quite soft! In a performance, I’d feel a lot of fear and doubt without the ability to explicitly navigate my way through. With practice and written reminders, I learned to make that voice stronger and coach myself well through a performance. Maybe your brakes need a little attention or your mind's eye made a little keener. Whatever it is, a little attention will go a long way. Enjoy your explorations!
Cheering you on,
Jeff Nelsen and Katy Webb
