Thoughts From Frøydis, Part II: Feedback Among Musicians

by Frøydis Ree Wekre

When asked to give a lecture during the Lieksa Brass Week, I admit that I suggested this theme myself. However, the reason was not that I consider myself an expert—rather, the opposite.

However, I did want to take a closer look at this subject and find out more about it, and thus maybe find new ways for continuing progress as a musician (and brass player).

I am sorry to report that I found more questions than answers in my ‘research.’ Nevertheless, I think some of these questions are important and well worth sharing.

The world of performing musicians is a very sensitive one, and the general level of tension is rather high. In chamber music, the rehearsals usually include comments, feedback, and discussions; the more gracefully the members of the group can give and receive such messages, the better the progress and the musical result. Without having made any obvious ‘mistakes,’ a musician can also expect messages and critique from colleagues with different tastes and opinions.

In an orchestra, the individual member will receive feedback mostly from the conductor and from the principal player in his/her section—feedback based on their particular tastes. Comments from other colleagues may occur, but less frequently, unless you ask for them yourself.

But first, let me try to make the meaning of the word feedback in this context more precise. In Norwegian, this word is tilbakemelding, which would translate directly as “message back.” The first question then is: what kind of message, and back after what?

The message could be words or body-language signals from other people about a musical task that you just performed, or more generally about your playing, not in reference to a specific musical event. In other words, a response from the society around you as to how they respond to your music-making, whether they like what you are doing, or whether they like some parts of what you are doing more or less than other parts, not to mention the possibility that they actively dislike what they are hearing….

Sometimes, it will be YOU who gives these messages to the other musicians, for various reasons. For example, if you are a conductor or a teacher, it is your job to send out various messages to improve the musical result coming from your group or a singular student. But also, just as a colleague, it might be a natural thing to do occasionally.

Hence, I will start by discussing the GIVING of feedback.

WHO can give musical feedback to others?

• Teacher
• Conductor
• Principal or acting principal player
• Colleague/co-player
• Friend
• Enemy
• Audience/Fan/Music lover/Family

Since the teacher and the conductor are both professional feedback-givers I chose not to discuss their jobs here; that is a huge subject, though, for another discussion, another time.

WHY would you give feedback to others? (What is your motivation?)

• you were asked directly about your opinion and feel that you must answer
• you want to help to improve the musical result
• you want to help/encourage this person to become a better musician/brass player (out of love, friendship…)
• you want to be a very honest person (or you just talk before you think...)
• you want (or feel that you need) to defend yourself, and attack is often the best defense
• you like to belittle others
• you like to make it harder for an enemy (‘sweet is the taste of revenge’)
• you want to be everybody’s friend (and hand out praise only)

WHERE and WHEN could feedback be given?

• In an orchestra or bigger group:
  • Before, during or after rehearsals?
  • At the 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, or last rehearsal?
  • Before, during, or after concerts?
  • On stage? Privately? On the phone? In the pub?
  • After being asked? Without being asked?
• In chamber music:
  • Mutual feedback is expected during chamber music rehearsals; it is, however, very important to find a good balance between give-and-take.
• Being a listener/part of the audience:
  • After a concert?
  • After having listened to a recording?
  • Being asked, or just offering your opinion anyway?
• During regular corridor/coffee break conversations:
  • Offering general negative remarks on national versus international levels of performance on a particular instrument.

HOW could feedback be given?

• without words, body language, sighing, shaking head, thumb, etc.
• by imitating, exaggerating, adjusting, parodying, showing...
• by words, and then you have a choice! (When in doubt, leave it out?)

Good teachers (and some conductors) know to find the right balance between [1] the positive and encouraging feedback, so necessary for self-confidence and bravery, and [2] the constructive critique, comments, or suggestions so necessary for progress and development.

While only dealing with good teachers, we live in a protected world. Out there, in the real world, the feedback does not always appear in a gentle ‘wrapping.’

When you yourself are the one who gives the feedback, you are in control—at least theoretically—as to the way the message is delivered, with what words, tone of voice, timing, etc.

RECEIVING feedback, especially, the kind that contains some suggestions to improve or to change the way you just performed, can sometimes be hard to deal with.

One example from orchestral life: a principal wind player performed a small cadenza in his part during a rehearsal. (It is necessary to know that this musician’s father happened to be a professional musician as well, playing the same instrument in one of the major US orchestras, and this father was also known to be considered a personal enemy by the son’s conductor.) The conductor stopped, looked at him very negatively and said with an arrogant voice, “WHO taught you to play it LIKE THAT?” After a few seconds of silence, the wind player replied calmly, “How would you like me to play this solo?” This musician chose to ignore the immature, childish part of the conductor’s personality, and just to listen to that part of the message which concerned the music; the conductor wanted to hear the solo played differently, and thus the musician’s job was to find out how.

It takes a true ‘adult’ person to control the reactions to feedback presented in such a negative way.

On the other hand, I have also seen extremely emotional and/or angry reactions to very careful and mild instructions or suggestions. Some people look calm and collected on the outside, while the inside is like a time bomb of nerves and insecurity.

Looking into the REASONS for such immediate, emotional reactions, there are many interesting possibilities:

• the suggestions are ‘wrong,’ or to be ignored because they came
  • at the wrong time/with the wrong words/from the wrong person
    • wrong person, because: he/she
      • is an enemy, trying to make it harder for me…
      • is a ‘weaker’ musician than me; has lots of own problems
      • has a different taste, I will not yield.

Also, some musicians with a very high level of inner stress feel that any kind of feedback might be devastating to their performance. Therefore, they choose to argue back, walk away, or ignore the message somehow in order to protect themselves.

And, of course there are times when it is really necessary for most of us to protect ourselves against difficult suggestions that occur at the last minute, or that demand skills that we simply do not have at that moment, due to fatigue or whatever.

Nevertheless, I think that the ability to react calmly and with dignity can be trained.

Nobody is perfect, neither the one who delivers the feedback, nor the one who receives it. We all make mistakes, whether in the actual performing of music, or in the way we deal with our colleagues/friends/students/teachers/conductors/family. Interesting and important is how we handle our mistakes.

A proverb says that the fool always makes the same mistakes; the smart always makes new ones.

When being told of a possible mistake, there is a choice on how to react: allow some time for cooling down, and then ask yourself, “Is there in this feedback a possibility to learn something?” To find out for sure, it might be wise to seek a second opinion from somebody else whom you trust.

If the answer to the question is NO, you will probably need to defend yourself mentally by ignoring the given feedback.

However, if the question can be answered with YES, do consider the comment! It might help your progress, maybe not right there and then, but hopefully some time down the road.

The art of receiving feedback—whether we asked for it or not, and whether the words, the timing, and the person delivering it were all wrong or right: by considering the content of the given feedback, you might be able to eliminate some old mistakes and start looking for new ones. And after all, it is boring to keep repeating the old mistakes…maybe being the only one around who is not even aware of them!

Lieksa, July 21, 1990
Frøydis Ree Wekre